Family Members, Photo Shoots and a Fundraiser!

Hello friends!  It's been a few weeks since we've had the chance to update everyone so we wanted to share some news.  We've experienced lots of love and great news this month.

Our first big news is that our family has expanded!!  While it's not in the way that our blog is for, it's equally as exciting!  My brother got married the first of this month to Emily.  Our family got to spend three days in Rosemary Beach, Florida celebrating love and marriage.  We're so excited to know that our children will have such an amazing and godly woman as their aunt.  She's an answer to prayers, a wonderful enhancement to our family, a great friend and perfect for my brother.  We couldn't be more excited for them as they start their marriage.

This fall we were also blessed by a friend introducing us to Tiffany Palomba of Bella Vie Photography .  Tiffany goes to our church and is a member of the photography team.  Not only that but she's just a beautiful person inside and out!  She offered to do a mini photo shoot for us as a fundraiser.  She donated two shoots and the money that came in from them, she donated to our adoption fundraising.  She also surprised us and asked if she could do a shoot of just Brian and I.  It was such a treat!  We loved being able to capture our journey as we prepare to open our home for children.  The pictures turned out great, here are a few of our favorites!

 Lastly is our Christmas fundraiser, Our Love Tree!  We saw this idea from another family that adopted a few years ago.  They did an envelope fundraiser where they numbered the envelopes 1-200 and people would sponsor an envelope and donate the amount they wanted on the corresponding envelope.  Well, we decided to put a Christmas spin on this idea.  We created 200 handmade ornaments and numbered them 1-200.  People pick the number they want, donate that amount and then we send them their ornament.  Once that ornament is purchased, that number is no longer for sale.  If we are able to sell all 200 ornaments, we will raise over $21,000 which would be a tremendous blessing for our adoption expenses!

As of today, we've sold 40 ornaments!  We have a lot left, so if you are interested in supporting us, this is a great way to do that!  The numbers that have been purchased so far are:

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 25, 26, 29, 30, 33, 34, 35, 50, 71, 75, 77, 82, 83, 90, 120, 150 and 199.

If you want to purchase an ornament, choose one of the numbers not listed above and send an email with your name, address, and ornament number to higdonadoption@gmail.com.  Once you've done that,  you can make your donation here.  We'll send your ornament out that week in time for you to have it for Christmas.

We've started our home study process and have all the money to cover all of the payments for that.  Once that is finished, we'll need $15,000 for our country fees so we are praying and believing that money will come in soon as well.

Thank you for supporting us through prayers, encouragement and finances.  We couldn't do all of this without the love and support of our family and friends!

Lastly, today is my birthday!  I know we aren't supposed to share birthday wishes, but I'm going to share my birthday prayer today.  I'm praying that next year for Christmas we will have a child (or two!) to fill a pair of these shoes.  It's an ambitious prayer, and we're trusting in God to fulfill it for us.  If you want to give a birthday present, purchasing an ornament would be a great one!

Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Lauren

How big are your grapes?

I wanted to start off by giving you all an update on things. If you follow us on Facebook then you might already be aware of some stuff, but we have been so busy with all things adoption, plus a big family wedding, that it seems like we haven't posted a blog in forever. The biggest news is that we have officially been accepted into Bethany's Haiti program (woop woop!). It was a pretty incredible story as to how it all happened, but the condensed version is that we found out two days before the program was scheduled to close that Haiti had the exact age range (0-3yrs) and the average timeline (9-18 months) that we were looking for. We will have to share all the details later, but we got into the program and we were told by others that have gone through this process, that getting into a program in two days just doesn't happen.

Second big update is that our first official fundraiser was a major success. We had a big yard sale where friends and family donated things, and we were able to raise almost $1900 selling other peoples stuff. I really can't even type that out without shaking my head in disbelief. Our goal was $400-$500, but every other goal that we have set so far has been blown out of the water so why not that one too. All I can say is my God is so much bigger than I know, and He has this all worked out.

We had several big ticket items at our yard sale like bikes, furniture, and TVs, and we tried to make a point to let people know that our objective was to raise money for an adoption. Now I know that people who shop at yard sales are just out looking for really good deals, but I had to walk away a few times to calm down because these yardsalers were driving me up a freakin wall. These people would come up and offer $25 for 45" flat screen high definition TV, or if something was marked at fifty cents they would offer a quarter. Are you kidding me! The best was when I wouldn't sell a mountain bike to a lady for $30, so she sent her little girl over to give me the puppy dog eyes. Sorry lady, no dice. The bike she wanted is selling online right now for $275 and I was only asking $75 so I don't think I was being unrealistic. Besides I put a lot more value on all of this stuff because it was part of my ticket to bringing my child home. That bike, TV, or $.50 sweatshirt is going to help make me a daddy and you got the nerve to come and make an offer like that!? I just told you why we are here, we are adopting a child, and you are going to argue with me over a quarter. Sorry if I'm rambling, I can feel my blood pressure rising as I'm telling you this story, but that got me thinking about perspective. As I said, I saw all of that random stuff as part of my ticket to fatherhood, but my neighbors saw it all as random junk that I was just trying to get rid off. Same stuff, different perspectives.

Lauren and I really love our church, so this may be a little biased, but it seems like whenever God is trying to show us something, our Pastor has a sermon that is right on topic, and his sermon from a little over a week ago now was no exception. While I was spending all weekend thinking about perspective, Pastor Steven preached a sermon about perspective. So, i figured I would try to break it down and tell you what it meant to me and maybe it can help you too. You can watch the real deal here. I'm specifically referring to part 3, but the whole series is amazing, and you should check it out.


Did you watch part 3 "It's Already Written"? If not then please go back and watch it before reading any further.



Seriously, go watch it. It can change your life!


I had the opportunity to listen to our pastor preach this message a few times, and each time was a little different, but the part that stood out to me was when he said "We don't experience our reality, we experience our perspective of reality" I loved that. When I first heard that I think I did a backflip in my mind because it spoke to me right where I was at. I was dealing with the reality that this adoption is going to cost a lot of money that I don't have, but trying to look at it from the perspective that nothing is impossible with God. Now I'm not saying that we should live in this bubble of positive thinking and never face reality, but as Christians we can choose to stand on God's promises and believe that God will do what He said He will do. Ok so hopefully if you still haven't watched the sermon, that little nugget has peaked your interest. Watch it already!

Pastor Steven used the story of the twelve Israelite spies to illustrate his point about perspective. Moses was about to lead the Israelites into the promised land, and he decided to send twelve spies into the land to check it all out. So these twelve dudes go out into the promised land and spend forty days exploring. While they were exploring, they cut off a single cluster of grapes so large that it required two men to carry it. Try to imagine that, a single cluster so big that two men had to carry it. Moses wanted them to bring some grapes back to give the people a taste of what they were about to be given. So the spies come back with the ridiculously large grapes and tell Moses and the people of Israel how great the land is, but ten out of the twelve tell them that the people there are to powerful for them to overcome while the other two, Joshua and Caleb, are reminding them that God has already given them the land. Long story short, the people chose to believe the perspective of the ten over the perspective of the two, and because of their disbelief they ended up roaming the desert for forty years before they went into the promised land, and most if not all of the people who believed the negative report over the promises of God died before getting to the promised land. "We don't experience, we experience our perspective of reality."

I think that the grapes in this story represent proof of God's promises. It is essentially God saying "look, I told ya so!" As we have been stepping through this adoption process we have already had a lot of moments where we just had to stop and say "Ok, God. You got this, and we trust you." Those moments are our grapes, and they are some big ones. How big are your grapes? What has God been telling you to do, but you are looking at it from the wrong perspective? What has God shown you in an attempt to say "I got your back, just believe in Me and My promises." I'm not sure if any of this even makes sense to you, but I'm just trying to get you to look at things a little differently. There was an old song that we used to sing in church when I was a kid that went something like this "Whose report will you believe? I will believe the report of the Lord!" So I ask again, how big are your grapes and whose report are you believing?

Brian

Moldy Cheese and Buzzfeed

Did you know that October 9th was National Moldy Cheese Day? I hope you didn't miss your opportunity to celebrate with a nice baked camembert or maybe a blue cheese burger. Who would have thought that there would be a day specifically for moldy cheeses. I mean I enjoy a beautiful blue vein cheese as much as the next guy, but does a cheese really deserve its own day of recognition?

This got me thinking. Is there a day that recognizes and brings attention to adoption? There should be, especially if moldy cheese has its own day. When I investigated I learned two things, November is Adoption Awareness Month, and more specifically November 9th is the first ever World Adoption Day. Awesome! I was so excited to learn about this great day! My mind instantly began to race. What can I do to raise awareness about World Adoption Day? The organizers have asked people to post a pic of themselves with a smiley face drawn on the palm of their hand and to use the hashtag #WorldAdoptionDay, but what could I personally do? I had to do something, and I had to do it quick. Ice bucket challenge? Nah thats been done. Creative hashtag? Maybe but they have a hashtag already. So, I did what you do when you don't know what to do. I Googled "how to raise awareness". That didn't produce much, but while scrolling through Facebook I came across a Buzzfeed link for 25 reason to eat more cheese. Ironic huh.

If you have been on Facebook anytime in the past six months, then you know what Buzzfeed is. My news feed is nothing but 33 ways you know you were a youth group kid or the 100 best cat pics. You get the picture. So after reading about why I should eat more cheese, my wheels started turning. I came up with the genius idea (Lauren helped a lot) to make my own Buzzfeed style list to try to raise awareness for World Adoption Day. So, here you go, in honor of the first ever World Adoption Day on November 9th:

THE TOP 9 THINGS THAT I CAN'T WAIT TO DO WITH MY KIDS

9. SPORTING EVENTS 

        
What dad doesn't want to take their kids to their first baseball game, football game, NASCAR race, or bowling match?  Wait... is it called a bowling match or bowling game? ok maybe not bowling

8. SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

         










I'll be honest, I don't even know if this is a thing anymore. What I do know is that there are a lot of stupid cartoons out now, and kids need direction. I vow to show my kids what real cartoons are. Ninja Turtles, Looney Toons, Scooby Doo, etc. Plus it is a great excuse to eat Lucky Charms.

7. HOBBIES



I can't wait to pass all of my knowledge on to moldable young minds. I pray that my children have some of the same interests as me. Specifically cars and cooking, but I also hope that we can find new hobbies to learn about together.



6. THUNDER OVER LOUISVILLE

The largest fireworks display in North America, and second largest in the world. Words can't really describe the experience, but I can tell you that it is AWESOME! Check out this video

5. CAMPING AND ALL THINGS FALL



Pumpkin carving, halloween costumes, picking apples, eating apple pie, bonfires, s'mores, driving the Blue Ridge Parkway. Oh and apple cider doughnuts. Need I say more?

4. EKIDZ AND THIS >>>>>>

Our Church is very important to us and we can not wait for our kids to be involved with the childrens ministry which we call eKidz. The picture may need some explaining. When I first saw this on the wall, they had not put the little feet on the ground, so my thought was "I wonder why they didn't put the I up. Maybe its on backorder or something." After a few weeks I really began to get agitated with it. Our church is very intentional with making sure we do everything with excellence, and leaving the "I" out of eKidz is not operating with excellence. When I told Lauren about my frustration, she politely showed me the error of my ways. "Your kid is suppose to be the I, you big dummy" - Lauren          Ever since then I have wanted to take this picture with my kids because I think it is such a cool idea.

3. BUILDING A SNOWMAN AND PLAYING IN THE SNOW

One thing that we have been told about adopting internationally is that our children will have lots of firsts. Some have never seen grass, or a car, or an airplane. Imagine what their reaction will be the first time they see snow.

2. CHRISTMAS MORNING

This kid's reaction says it all!









1. BAPTISM 

This makes me the most excited and emotional, and for those of you who have been supporting us, you have a part in this as well. To see my children publicly declare their faith in Jesus Christ will be the absolute greatest day of my life. One quote that I have repeated over and over through this process so far is "We can't change the world, but for the children we bring home, we will change their world forever" There is no greater investment than the Kingdom of God, and when you help us bring our children home, that is where you are investing your money. Your money goes to so much more than covering legal fees and home study fees. It helps to bring a child into a loving home where they will be introduced to their Savior, and that my friend is priceless.


BONUS!!!!                            
DISNEY WORLD   

Because no list like this would be complete without Disney World.




What traditions do you have with your kids? Leave some suggestions for us in the comments.

Please share with your friends and help us get the word out!!

Love you all,

Brian

PS Lauren had a big hand in helping me come up with this list. So, I may have stolen her idea for this blog post. SHHHH don't tell her.

Faith Too Small

In the last 12 months, we've had over 25 friends either have babies or become pregnant.  25!

Every time someone has told me they were pregnant, I'd be thrilled for them and pray that it would be me soon.  From the time Brian and I started dating, we had hoped we could get pregnant as soon as we got married.  We wanted a honeymoon baby.  We thought that by the time we were celebrating our fifth anniversary we'd have at least two kids or be pregnant with the second one. 

Well, here we are less than a month away from our sixth anniversary and no babies.  

The last five years have been filled with medications, shots, infertility treatments, multiple weekly doctor appointments, nights where I'd lay in bed crying and just praying for a baby, people asking insensitive questions about why we didn't have kids yet.  We prayed for children all the time.  I saw my husband interacting with our friends kids and felt so much guilt that I hadn't been able to provide him with kids yet (he NEVER made me feel that way, just myself).  

We have the privilege of leading an eGroup at our church.  It's made up of couples and we get to do Bible studies and life together.  Over the last two years our group, family and friends have prayed with us for kids. Sometimes I felt like they were praying about it more than I was because I'd just get too sad about it.  I even prayed that God would take the desire out of my heart to want children.  That was the hardest thing because I knew that I wanted them more than anything, but maybe there was a reason we weren't blessed with them yet.  Through those prayers, He only made my desires stronger.  

When we started our adoption journey, Brian was that catalyst for it.  His faith was the strongest and I'm so grateful for that because he truly is the spiritual leader of our household.   I was scared that we wouldn't come up with the money, get approved to be parents or even be ready to be mom and dad. Thoughts were racing through my head like "What if this doesn't work too?", "How will we ever raise this money?", " How will we know what to do?".  

The home study is one of the first parts of the adoption process.  It's where they come to your house and examine it, interview both parents, check on references, it's pretty intense!  It costs $5500 to complete that portion of the adoption.  Both Brian and I were believing it'd take us 4-5 months to come up with the money.  We were planning on sharing our story on Facebook and Instagram and doing some fundraisers in November and December.  We thought we'd get through the holidays, maybe family would give us Christmas gifts that we could use for the home study.  

We really never thought it'd get started in 2014. 

God had some other plans for us.  

In less than two weeks, friends, family and strangers have donated over $6,000!  Brian and I got a call last week from some of our best friends who wanted to donate and huge amount.  It was the exact right amount to finish paying for the home study.  When I found out, all I could do was cry and thank God.  We still need to raise about $35,000 more, but how can we doubt God now after these last two weeks?!

He knew all along that this would be our path to starting our family.  He knew that i needed stronger faith in Him.  I feel as though God kind heartedly laughed at me last week as this money was coming through.  I felt Him asking me why I didn't have more faith in Him because He already has this planned out.  He knows the names, gender and ages of the children we will be bringing him.  He knows the desires of our hearts and is answering them.  

I felt Him saying I am going to be a mom.  I believed for the first time in my life that I will actually get to be a mom.  And I cannot wait!

Lauren 

                                                                       My mom & I

It Started In The Shower...

Ok, so one of the first things that we decided to do when we officially began the adoption process was to start a blog. There were two main reasons that we wanted to do this. One, we wanted to document the journey as much as possible so that we could share it with our future children, and two we wanted to give people like you the chance to follow our story and feel like they are invested in it.  Knowing that the blog would be a very important part of our journey, I knew that I would have to eventually contribute to it in some way. (By the way this is Brian)

For those of you who know me, you are probably chuckling to yourself right about now because you know how much this puts me out of my comfort zone. I’m not really a talker. I don’t like to chit-chat, and I’m not really good at sharing my feelings and all of that kind of stuff. It is something that I have really been trying to get over, but the thought of having to sit down and type out my feelings is a very uncomfortable place for me. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

With all of that being said, I wanted to share my side of our story.  For as long as I can remember, the shower has always been my spot where I do my clearest thinking. For most people I think it is another area of the bathroom, but for me it has always been the shower. I don’t know why that is. Maybe the hot water, the chemicals in the shower gel, I don’t know. A few weeks ago, I was in my think tank getting ready for work, and I just kept thinking about all of the things that we are waiting on. We are waiting till we pay this bill off to buy a new car, we are waiting on my promotion at work to move into a newer home, we are waiting for this, and waiting for that, and waiting, and waiting and waiting. Then it hit me. We have always talked about adoption and wanted to adopt. If I remember correctly we even talked about it on our first date, but we were waiting till we had enough money. I could feel myself getting angry, why are we waiting? Our children could be out there WAITING FOR US! Why are we wasting time!

I want you to try to picture what happened next. Wait, scratch that, maybe you shouldn't try too hard to picture it because I’m sure it wasn't pretty. I literally ran out of the shower, threw a towel around me and ran over to Lauren’s desk (she works from home) and said “I’m tired of waiting”.  She just kind of looked at me with this puzzled look on her face. I’m sure I probably still had soap dripping off of me, and I was leaving a puddle on the carpet, but I was tired of waiting and taking the time to dry off first never really crossed my mind. So after I explained myself a little more, Lauren and I agreed that we were both tired of waiting, and we were tired of being so dependent on money to do the things that we believe God has called us to do.

Part of the Lord’s Prayer is “give us THIS day our DAILY bread”. It doesn’t say give us our daily bread for the next 40 years so that we can have some savings to lean against, because then are we trusting in God or our savings?  It says give us todays supply because that’s all we need for today, and tomorrow we will trust You to do it again. So, that’s what we decided to do. We decided that we are going to take the steps towards international adoption and we are going to trust that God will give what we need when we need it. We believe with everything in us that God has called us to do this, and we will not let anything, especially money, stop us from doing what God has called us to do. The best part is, God has people like you lined up ready to support us, whether financially or through prayer and encouragement.  Either way, you can be a part of our family’s story, and you can help to forever change the lives of our future children by helping us bring them home.

PS I came up with this post in the shower J

How It All Began

Brian and I are so excited to share our adoption journey!  Before we even met face to face (we met online), we shared our dreams about adopting children one day.  I knew in high school that adoption would one day play a part in how my family would grow.  I was able to go on multiple mission trips and each one only strengthened that desire.  Brian had also visited orphanages while on a mission trip and knew it was something he'd be interested in looking at in his future.

Fast forward a decade or so and we found ourselves on a date in Starbucks filling out the application for an international adoption.  The night we submitted our initial paperwork, I couldn't sleep.  I was filled with thoughts of excitement, anxiety, fear, joy and hope.  My night consisted of audacious prayers for our future family, peace for our children's birth parents, support through our fundraising efforts and for God to surround us with people that would lift us up through this entire process.  We have very big dreams for this adoption and are fully trusting on God to make them come true.

This blog will be a chance to share how God will work in miraculous ways through our journey to adopt.  It will be a chance to get to know us, for us to share our joys and struggles through this journey, to laugh and cry, learn patience and join us on this journey.  We believe that it will take a village to make this adoption happen.  We are leaning on friends and family to help us through the stages and hoping to encourage and answer questions for others who are adopting or have questions about it.

We're believing God will answer our prayers in ways we never thought possible.  We're so excited to share this long-awaited journey and can't wait for the day when we have our family!

Welcome to our adoption journey!

Brian & Lauren