guilty or to get sympathy. It's an attempt to share where I am at with infertility, how I still struggle with it, and how God is using this struggle to glorify Him and fulfill a plan He has for our life. It's not an easy one to write, but it's been on my mind for a while.
Infertility is not an easy topic to talk about. It's a very personal struggle and one that I wish women did not have to go through. We have many friends who have struggled with it. Some have families now, some have had multiple children, many have had miscarriages, some have adopted or are in the process, some are still waiting for their families to start. It's something that I don't want to identify me, but sometimes quite honestly I feel like it does. But what I've learned is that it is me who identifies myself like that, not others who categorize me with that struggle.
Recently I had someone ask me why we haven't tried harder to have biological children and if Brian and I will love our adopted children as much as we would biological children. The first question flat out shocked me, I was rather speechless for about a minute. The second question just made me sad. Sad that this person sees the potential for such a difference in our future children. Sad that people may label our kids in this way. It also made me upset because we have tried hard to start our family biologically.
I've done infertility treatments for years. Did the self-injectables, pills, creams, ultrasounds, procedures, seen multiple doctors, been poked and prodded more times than I care to count. I've thrown and attended plenty of baby showers and wished they were for me. I've cried plenty of tears over not having a pregnancy yet. Brian and I have prayed thousands upon thousands of prayers for our future children (as have many of our family and friends).
I've also made deeper friendships with women who share in this same struggle, we've been able to connect in a deeper way. I've welcomed friends' miracle babies and celebrated their pregnancies with them. I've learned that I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. I've learned that through all of these struggles, God will get the glory for the day we hold our first child in our arms.
