106 Days

If you have kids, or even if you don't, try to imagine with me that you or your wife is pregnant and tomorrow is the expected due date. Imagine how excited you would be because at any given moment your life is going to change forever, and if you were going to become a first time parent imagine how nervous you might be. All of your friends and family would be giving you advice, some good, some bad, some you have no idea what they are even talking about. For me, I know that as the soon to be father I would have already had a lot of sleepless nights worrying about whether I was going to be a good father. What parenting philosophy should I follow? Do I even have a parenting philosophy? I'd be wondering how I'm going to afford all of the stuff that comes with a new baby; diapers, clothes, car seats, swing, toys, and all of the other stuff that you probably don't really need.


Do people really use the Mr. Milker? What about the snot sucker? I mean look at the kids eyes in that picture. She looks like she will be scarred for life. When I was a kid, if you got called a snot sucker that was a bad thing. Now in order to be a good parent you literally have to be a snot sucker? It's all so confusing.


Remember that old Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day (ironically today is groundhog's day) where he relives the same day over and over?  For 106 days that is where Lauren and I have been. On October 19, 2015 we received a letter from our adoption agency that informed us that our home study was complete and that our profile book was being shown to birth mothers. At that moment our "due date" became tomorrow. At any moment we could get a phone call telling us that we were parents. So, all of the same emotions and questions, and fears that you have being nine months pregnant and only a few days away from the birth of your child, we have all of those and then some.

I am not writing this to complain about the waiting that is involved, but it has definitely been the hardest part for me. The way that I have chosen to deal with it is probably not the best way, but it has been effective. I have basically chosen to not think about it and to try to fill my time with other things. For me those "other things" have been finally building a farmhouse table for our dining room, and finally trying to start my own catering company. I'm pretty proud of both of those things, and they have really helped me keep my mind occupied over the past 106 days. I don't ever want to speak for Lauren, but I think she has tried to do basically the same thing. She has stayed busy with her jewelry business, and she does an amazing job with helping to run the eGroups at our church. Again, trying to keep our minds occupied while waiting may not be the best way to handle this period of our adoption process, but it has been effective so far. We are still just as excited about the fact that we could get a phone call any minute, but we aren't stressing about it if we don't get that phone call today because there is still the same opportunity tomorrow.

What I realized over the past few weeks is that the way I have handled this portion of the process has lead to some of the people who have supported us the most having questions about whether we are even still adopting. To those of you who have supported us through prayer and especially through our fundraising efforts, yes we are still adopting and we are so thankful for your support. We can not wait for you all to be introduced to our child(ren), and we can not wait to share with our child(ren) how much they were loved, even before they got here.

Just since October we have had 23 couples that we know either have a baby, or find out that they are pregnant. We are so happy for those friends and we celebrate their joy with them, but it has been hard as we are just waiting for a phone call. So it is always appreciated when someone asks us about the adoption or supports in some way. We realize that it can be awkward to ask us about the adoption because most people have no clue about what to say. Please know that it's ok to not know what to say, and that we appreciate everyone who is supporting us.

Now for a shameless plug, because it all goes to help pay for our adoption. If you are interested in some amazing jewelry, contact Lauren to ask how you could get some for free or go to laurenhigdon.mypremierdesigns.com, and if you are in need of catering services, contact Brian at bigchimicatering@gmail.com or through facebook @bigchimicatering.

Thank you all so much for your continued support.